Ghosted in Business. Why Manners Still Matter.

There’s a strange irony in a world where we have more ways to connect than ever before, yet basic courtesy seems to be vanishing faster than you can say “left on read.”

Ghosting, that old dating-app behaviour of disappearing mid-conversation, has taken a stronghold in the business world. And frankly, it’s embarrassing.

I’m not talking about spam or nonsense emails - we all have our fair share of those. I’m talking about genuine, thoughtful inquiries. People reaching out to collaborate, pitch, apply, or even offer something of value. And getting absolutely nothing back.

I recently spent time (and money) putting together beautifully printed proposals, handwritten letters, and well-researched ideas to send to a list of exclusive PR agencies. Not one response. Not a “thanks but no thanks.” Not even a “we’re not currently reviewing new proposals.” Just silence.

Some will say this is the reality of cold outreach. That you can’t expect a reply unless someone’s interested. And maybe that’s true in some cases. But when you’re clearly not a bot, not flogging SEO, and not asking for freebies, I don’t think it’s asking too much for a one-line response.

Even a polite rejection feels better than being ignored. It tells you someone saw your effort. That you were visible, if not chosen. And when it comes to job applications, especially from young people just starting out, the silence can feel brutal. We’re not talking about writing bespoke replies to 400 CVs. We’re talking about one automated email that simply says “Thanks, but not this time.”

I’ve always made a point of replying. Whether it’s an author submitting a manuscript I know I won’t take on, or a service I don’t need, I’ll take a few minutes to respond. In the case of submissions, I’ll even say why it’s not the right fit and offer a few suggestions if I can. Because if someone’s brave enough to put their work in front of me, they deserve at least that much. Even on LinkedIn I take the time to explain why I don’t appreciate a cold sell couched as “reaching out to connect”.

I get that inboxes are a nightmare. I understand we’re all stretched. But the more people I speak to, the clearer it becomes that this isn’t just about busyness. It’s become a habit. And not a good one.

People notice who replies, they remember who took a moment. And often, that simple courtesy leaves more of a mark than any big campaign or clever branding.

You don’t have to write an essay. You don’t even have to say yes. But acknowledging someone’s time and effort? That still matters.

I’m noticing more and more that people are dispairing the lack of good “old fashioned” values, whether in business, relationships or child rearing, are we about to come full circle again? I really hope so because the old adage “Manners maketh man (and woman)” it’s pretty bloody true and no different now, to William of Wykeham’s 14th century days.